A year not yet completed, but it is time for a review. Not for your sake, not for a pity party, not for a prayer party for that fact either. Just to review to help me wrap my head around what could yet be in my future with two months still remaining.
January – Started Intersect-Me.org. Wrote my first blog post on January 23rd.
Supernova – this one was particularly insightful for the journey ahead.
February – Started 40 day written lenten reflection on February 12th. We learned of James’ fatal diagnosis on February 21st.
March – Daily reflections on Lent were common. My life outside the website was in shambles, anticipatory grief was common. Holy week ironically ended this month, with April 1st being Easter.
April – We began to absorb the path to come with James and began to share more specifically our struggles. My first writing about him was on April 9th, about life not being fair…Oh how that post rings true today…Mostly this month was “normal” life.
May – May was the ending of soccer season and the start of T-Ball for Thomas. It was Grace in gymnastics and Katie being Katie… This was the first month I finally shared the full story, started to expose some of the pain and joy of the journey…
June – James, the month started with fear and doubt about what was to come. You were born on June 8th, the funeral was June 13th and I thought a clear healing run way was ahead. The shear joy of the journey, of your life began to be impressed in my life.
July – We, Lynn and I, started to heal together, grow together and share together more than we ever had in the past. We also started to see James appear, literally in our lives. In the wind, sunsets, clouds and happenings of every day life. Most particularly a Cardinal…Which I will write about on a future day.
August – We began to heal more. We traveled, left our children for a time with Family to reconnect alone, together in Chicago. We journeyed to Minnesota. Healing and hope rekindled anew. The Cardinal referenced above, somewhat disappeared about the time I returned to the dermatologist…Again, more for a future story. The biggest milestone was completing James’ video, a Birthday Present to me. The first and best one I’ve ever received from me.
James Video Celebration of Life
September – The days turned to weeks, weeks to months in this month. We started to look to life ahead, having lost a child, more directly. How do we carry this burden gracefully, tactfully, lovingly and not let it separate Lynn and me?
And in this month, September, I had my tumor removed on my ear on September 25th. I had not a care in the world as to the results. I thought it was a blood vessel disorder, or maybe basel cell cancer. I would give a lot of money to have the next two weeks back, turn back the clock and have it diagnosed as either of those two.
October – We learned on October 7th, while I was in the Washington DC, that the tumor on my ear they removed was bad. He would not tell me over the phone the results. We met upon my return on October 9th and he shared the news. Melanoma, hopefully isolated, hopefully contained. Further surgery required due to it’s depth over 1mm deep (1.75mm to be exact). Ok doc, on to the James the following Tuesday, October 15th to consult and schedule surgery. Given an 80/20 chance it DID NOT spread we felt good going in. Surgery October 18th, on a Friday, recovery for 10 days…Then the sledge hammer on October 29th. It’s the 20 and not the 80. It has spread.
Today is October 31st.
We have two months left in this year. We have much ahead. Tests, treatments, surgery, recovery. I pray for the faith to carry on, hour by hour, day by day, week by week. Two months. Christmas is near, my favorite holiday, officially kicks off in our house tomorrow November 1st, with Christmas music. A special kind of joy in the midst of struggle will usher in this season this year.
Intersect Me 