1797 Days have passed since my cancer diagnosis
4 Years, 11 Months, 2 Days to be exact
100s of doctors appointments
Dozens of Scans
Too many IVs & Blood draws to count (surprised I have any blood left in me)
I had my follow up again today. By God’s Grace and Mercy, I received the all clear once again! Cancer has no hold on me!!!
But today as I celebrate survival, I also celebrate the life of another victim of this disease. A good friend lost their mother at age 60 to Lung Cancer last week and her funeral mass starts at 10am, today. I’ve witnessed the loss of so many in the last five years. It seems I stand on the battlefield triumphant amongst 100s of fallen soldiers. It’s reality, in this world.
So why me? Why now? Why did I survive? How did I make it? And she and so many others did not?
I stood at the casket yesterday of another death by cancer, staring for a few minutes at the face I knew once alive, now dead, and it came to me again.
I WILL NOT WASTE THIS LIFE!!
I was given today again today! Yes, I only have today to live today, and today, I learned I’m cancer free once again! But Joyce lay lifeless, gone by the same damn disease. So today, as I remember a mother, sister, wife and beautiful person, I thank God he has given me life. I call you to do the exact same thing. Thank God. Live today. Own it. Be Intentional. Focus on the Present. You are alive if you are reading this. It’s the greatest gift we have, TIME! Time to Love. Time to Breathe. Time to Speak. Time to Listen. Time to Hug. Time to Search. Time to Rest. Time to Reach out. Time to Be Alone. TIME.
TAKE EXTREME OWNERSHIP OF LIFE. Today.
Use this TIME today to think about LIFE, as we reflect on DEATH. Let the thought of DEATH make you motivated to LIVE LIFE!
You will waste your cancer if you refuse to think about death.
We will all die, if Jesus postpones his return. Not to think about what it will be like to leave this life and meet God is folly.
Ecclesiastes 7:2 says, “It is better to go to the house of mourning [a funeral] than to go to the house of feasting, for this is the end of all mankind, and the living will lay it to heart.” How can you lay it to heart if you won’t think about it?
Psalm 90:12 says, “Teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.” Numbering your days means thinking about how few there are and that they will end. How will you get a heart of wisdom if you refuse to think about this?
What a waste, if we do not think about death and let it inform us on how we shall live.
Peace to another sister and her family. We’ve lost another great mother on this journey. May a reflection on her death, on her life well lived, be my inspiration for the life we receive every morning.
Peace brothers and sisters out there. I hope you come on this journey of life today and for the rest of the days you have on this earth.
“So live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart. Trouble no one about their religion; respect others in their view, and demand that they respect yours. Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people. Prepare a noble death song for the day when you go over the great divide. Always give a word or a sign of salute when meeting or passing a friend, even a stranger, when in a lonely place. Show respect to all people and grovel to none. When you arise in the morning give thanks for the food and the joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies only in yourself. Abuse no one and no thing, for abuse turns the wise ones to fools and robs the spirit of vision. When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with the fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song and die like a hero going home.”
― John McCain, Character Is Destiny: Inspiring Stories Every Young Person Should Know and Every Adult Should Remember
“In prison, I fell in love with my country. I had loved her before then, but like most young people, my affection was little more than a simple appreciation for the comforts and privileges most Americans enjoyed and took for granted. It wasn’t until I had lost America for a time that I realized how much I loved her. ” ― John McCain, Faith of My Fathers: A Family Memoir
“Courage is not the absence of fear, but the capacity to act despite our fears.” ― John McCain
“Nothing in life is more liberating than to fight for a cause larger than yourself, something that encompasses you but is not defined by your existence alone.” ― John McCain, Faith of My Fathers: A Family Memoir
“We are Americans first, Americans last, Americans always. Let us argue our differences. But remember we are not enemies, but comrades in a war against a real enemy, and take courage from the knowledge that our military superiority is matched only by the superiority of our ideals, and our unconquerable love for them.” – John McCain, During his 2004 Republican National Convention speech
“Glory belongs to the act of being constant to something greater than yourself, to a cause, to your principles, to the people on whom you rely and who rely on you” ― John McCain
“Ironically for someone who had so long asserted his own individuality as his first and best defense against insults of any kind, I discovered that faith in myself proved to be the least formidable strength I possessed when confronting alone organized inhumanity on a greater scale than I had conceived possible. Faith in myself was important, and remains important to my self esteem. But I discovered in prison that faith in myself alone, separate from other, more important allegiances , was ultimately no match for the cruelty that human beings could devise when they were entirely unencumbered by respect for the God given dignity of man. This is the lesson I learned in prison. It is, perhaps, the most important lesson I have ever learned.” ― John McCain, Faith of My Fathers: A Family Memoir
May all men strive to live as John lived, a life of unselfish, passionate, driven, self-giving love for family, neighbor, friend, God and country.
These Hallowed Halls once bustled with activity. Little feet pattered the floor led by men and women who had committed their lives to service, charity and reverence to God. Now they lay quiet, pealing paint and rusted door knobs are all that’s left of the buildings that formed the leaders of our past.
These Hallowed Halls are an image of a Church that once featured the best and brightest teachers, leaders and servants. These Halls are where saints of the past were formed, values were imbued and civic culture was modeled in the caring, loving and compassionate teachers of the past.
Today is my Father’s Heavenly Birthday, he would be 82 today. He loved this Church we call Catholic, dedicated his life to prayer, petition and prioritized tithing to this Church over saving for retirement. He lived the “good life” for his 79 years on this earth. He was one of the many men we call fathers who built and sustained these Hallowed Halls.
Now, as the sound of bustling children has been replaced by silence. And we’ve learned this week that in these same halls walked perverted perpetrators of our past. It makes me sick. We have failed, my father would be disgusted and left in the wake are souls crushed, lives altered and faithful led astray.
This is not new. The prophet Jeremiah warned against this writing, “Woe to the shepherds who are destroying and scattering the sheep of my pasture!” declares the LORD.” And St. John Chrysostom, stated in 4th century, “The road to hell is paved with the skulls of erring priests, with bishops as their signposts.”
But this scandal is greater than ever before.
In Pennsylvania, a sweeping Grand Jury report identified 301 leaders of Catholic Dioceses, Parishes and Schools from the past who abused young, innocent children satisfying their own desires, and soiling ground underneath the Hallowed Halls of our beloved Church. These sinful men were in positions of authority. These youth were entrusted to them by faithful mothers, loving grandparents and families the Church serves who are in the poorest neighborhoods of American Society – the most vulnerable in the world, the very people we our Church are called to serve used for pleasures of sinful bishops & priests.
This is not the Church my father built. And I am not one of the thousands of victims. However, this is the soiled ground on which I now stand, in a Church that we call Catholic.
So what next? I am confident this is not yet ove, because sin entered the world. It goes back to Jeremiah, past the cross of Jesus to St. John Chrystostom and only the final return of Jesus can overcome it.
So what next? We can and should kneel down begging forgiveness and mercy. This Catholic is here begging forgiveness and mercy, led by those who recognize the severity of this crisis. One of those Catholic leaders, Father John Hollowell, has given a series of talks on this crisis over the last two weeks, exposing the heart of a Church broken, tattered and torn – a Church that is on fire. One talk I will link below, you can search for more by simply search his name on YouTube or clicking here, to his YouTube page.
So what next? The Catholic Church is on fire this morning. Ignited by the fiery, sinful steps and erring eyes of men we called our Fathers and Priests of the past. These men my Father trusted for 79 years abused little children. He trusted his ten children, baptized and formed us the Catholic faith all the while men across the country were using this platform for the worst, most disgusting acts a man could imagine.
So what next?
The choices ahead are rather simple. Many Hallowed Halls are now empty, the church is on fire and the bodies of sinful are buried, long in the past.
So what next? A very good friend of mine who is a Priest in Cleveland Parish purchased this sign on Amazon this week and plans to sit daily at a coffee shop engaging the community.
He text me last evening and said, “Gonna start sitting outside one of the busiest coffee shops in Cleveland, no retreat, it’s time to advance.”
Satan has tried from the fall of man to influence and destroy God’s church in multiple ways. The most effective of ways he has found is from the inside out. Going all the way back to the times of Jeremiah, he has taken the sinful nature of man, cloaked it in the robes of clerics, clergy and bishops, and lit the fire of sin destroying institutions of men meant to lead us closer to Jesus.
Pope Francis wrote in response to the crisis of our time, “I prefer a Church which is bruised, hurting and dirty because it has been out on the streets, rather than a Church which is unhealthy from being confined and from clinging to its own security…”
So what next?
One of our best US Catholic leaders, Bishop Allen Vigneron, wrote a letter to the faithful titled “Unleash the Gospel,” describing the clarion call for his beloved Detroit Diocese and all faithful followers of Jesus Christ. In it he wrote what the New Evangelization, the renewal of his diocese and our church, should look like. Many quotes I could share and I’d encourage you to read it for yourself. But this one struck me this morning on my Dad’s birthday.
As the fire burns in our church, Bishop Vigneron wrote:
If the church is viewed as a human institution, then it is easy to become overwhelmed by the challenges that face us. The feeling that we have to carry the burden of a struggling Church contributes in turn to weariness, discontent and defeatism. It may seem as if we are pushing a rock up a steep hill and getting nowhere. Where there has been such lethargy, dear brothers and sisters, let us repent!
We have fallen. The Catholic Church has failed too many, too often. The Leaders have scandalized the Church my father helped build. But that does not determine my action and should not determine yours.
Led by Bishops and Holy men of God like my friend in Cleveland, Bishop Vigneron and Pope Francis, we choose to advance.
In Spiritual warfare, just as in all wars of the past, there will be setbacks. Crisis will certainly occur because the enemy, Satan, is real.
Let us recall one of the greatest crisis in war. In liberating Europe from the Nazi occupation, the allies were making great advances only to face a staggering challenge in the fields of Ardennes. On December 16, 1944, 406,000 German men rushed headlong into the front lines of 225,000 Allied forces, The Battle of the Bulge had begun.
Over the next several days, a massive breach in the Allied frontline formed as an overwhelming tidal wave of German forces exacted a brutal toll on the under supplied, out numbered allied forces. Countless men were wounded, killed and left for dead as retreat was called across the allied line.
But the retreat did not end in defeat. The onrush of men was met with equal resolve from those inside the military institution of the Allied Forces. In just 14 days, hundreds of thousands of men were mobilized and thrown at the advancing Nazi forces to turn the tide. Nearly 500,000 men rushed to the aid of the 225,000 trapped men on the Allied frontline swelling the ranks to over 705,000 allied soldiers.
Men rushed in upon their brothers to stop the Nazi advance, saving countless men’s lives and reversing the tide of war. Men young and old dropped everything hearing of their fellow man in need and rushing to their aid, at the risk of their own lives.
This Catholic Crisis can be viewed in the same light. A massive breach in the front line of our Church. The Hallowed Halls are soiled, the bodies of men are littered about and we stand in the ruins of the attack by the enemy, Satan. We can recoil into defeatism, weariness and discontent or we can lean into our Christian faith as Jeremiah and St. John Chrystostom once did and call it what it is – Sin – and speak of our solution – Mercy and Salvation on the Cross of Christ.
In every moment of our past, from the ruins of Noah’s floods, David’s sin and ultimately Judas’ betrayal – in every moment of our past, the resolve of the Spirit of God instilled in Holy warriors of faith – A New Pentecost arises.
We are witnesses to this in our age. The task at this moment is not to stare at this empty Hallowed Hall, and retreat into ourselves. The task is to follow the call of Bishop Vigneron –
The task of our time is to rush into this Breach! The task is not to point to a cleric in black robes as our savior. The task is not to yield our guns or swords, or condemn with our lips. The task is to propose Jesus Christ as the Savior whom God the Father offers to every human being. The new evangelization is not a membership drive, nor is it an effort to shore up a code of conduct. Rather it is a call to encounter Jesus Christ anew, to invite people to respond by surrendering their lives to him. This call is for all, from the fields of fallen soldiers of Christ.
Don’t shy away at this time. The enemy is real and the crisis is upon us. Let’s rush into this breach, following the footsteps of our forefathers of faith and turn the tide of this battle, taking back and redeeming the soiled Hallowed Halls by the Blood of Jesus Christ. Satan has advanced, but he shall only win if we lose our resolve. Let us not fail, rush into the burning church, bringing renewal once again.
Intersect Me 